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How to forget your first love?


Having parted with their first beloved young man, the girls want to try to get rid of memories forever. But this is not worth doing. The fact is that first love is never forgotten. She will always live in your memory and bear kindness. The only problem that worries the fair sex is most often associated with the fact that, in addition to memory, the first feelings remain alive. The girls are sure that in addition to their first boyfriend they will never love anyone, they are trying by hook or by crook to return the relationship.

The first thing you need to understand: you can glue a broken cup, but you won’t be able to drink from it, and it will never be beautiful. Stop convincing yourself that you need this person. Most likely, you yourself drove into his head his need, but if you understand that this is nothing more than your own obsession, you can let go of your first love and begin to learn to live anew.

Sometimes it happens that after the first romantic relationship, girls all the time meet with someone, break up, and understand that the very first ball is an ideal, and there are simply no more guys in the world who could replace him. Understand that irreplaceable people do not exist. Sooner or later you will meet someone who will be better. Perhaps he will take more care of you, love and protect.

If several years have passed after your parting with your first love, and you still dream of returning your ex-boyfriend, think about how time changes people, and most likely you still love that person from the past, but the one he was, long gone. Instead, there is now another man, older and perhaps even more cruel and rude.

Do not hold your first feelings. Let them go and try to leave only memory in your soul.

Why not forget first love and what is it?

"Nautilus" once sang: "Love is a view from the screen." Translated into the prosaic language: love is only an image. A man imagines. He is a being who lives on illusions. Especially the thesis is true when it comes to youthful or teenage love (or love). When a person is young and inexperienced, the imagination is the main tool for knowing the world around him, he builds castles in the air, idealizes reality. Let us reinforce the argument with a textbook example - the work of Shakespeare's “Romeo and Juliet” - this is an ideal biography of first love. History has everything you need:

Crazy, sizzling passion.
Obstacles that only temper feelings and convince people that their first love is eternal!
And the early end. Neither Romeo nor Juliet understood, but what was it? Short flash or eternal love?

The cynical author noted that if the lovers lived longer, and Juliet would give birth to 3 to 5 children, grew fat, it is still unknown how the story would end. But this would not be Shakespeare, but a prosaic reality, where people make mistakes, love passes, and death is sometimes not fanned by any romantic halo.

At first glance, the reasoning is far from the topic, but it is not. People who ask themselves why they should not forget their first love do not realize that they create in their memoirs a story similar to the one composed by Shakespeare.

“First love is impossible to forget!” - where does this illusion come from?

First love is an image unconsciously formed by man. Consider why youthful love wins “dry” from the present? Adulthood consists of:

Out of work.
From family responsibilities.
From hanging out with friends.

It makes no sense to disclose each of the points. Adults know three elements of life that they may or may not like, but regardless of emotions and their nature, these three components generate routine, and with it boredom. And it doesn’t matter if the position is prestigious, whether there are conflicts at work or not, whether the wife is beautiful and smart, whether her friends are reliable. Boredom is inevitable. A man sits and thinks in the evening silence: “Yes, it is impossible to forget your first love!” After all, you want to go where you weren’t:

Boredom and routine.

Human memory is selective and, as N.A. wrote Berdyaev, "has a creative function." What a person remembers is not at all what it really was. “Good memories” are those facts that a person unconsciously worked on and creatively changed in a way that suits him best. And it is good that a person has a tendency in such a creation of memories. Imagine a person who remembers the bad or the real.

“I can’t forget my first love!” What should I do?

This is a warning sign. And he says that a person is not satisfied with his life. Let us recall the components of adulthood if the thought beats in my head like a bird in a cage: “I can’t forget my first love! What to do? ”We need to analyze which of those stones of everyday life has been shaken. Do people like family / work / friends? Here are some ways to deal with love nostalgia:

Analysis and answer to the question why a person remembered his first love.
If a problem is found, then the next natural step is a solution.
If longing does not recede, that is, an extreme means is to meet first love.

The last point is so fascinating that we succumb to the temptation and fantasize:

"First Love" does not remember what a person’s name is. Perhaps this will be a hoax, because the breakup was painful, but it acts sobering and ends the search.
People can be found, but the meeting will take place in the cool atmosphere of mutual alienation, because that very image does not at all coincide with what the person is at the moment.
A man and a woman meet and love each other until dawn, then diverge forever, because they understand: apart from an unsatisfied desire, nothing binds them.
A man and a woman meet, understand: “Here it is!” They live happily ever after and die on the same day - a fantastic scenario that sometimes occurs. Why? Because miracles are possible.

“I am married, but I can’t forget my first love! Help!"

Such people think: “You will never forget your first love!” A person remembers only what he wants or depends on. If a married man remembers the first girl that he loved with tender love, then the problem lies:

In the way of life. A person does not like his daily life, as life is organized. And he thinks: with “first love” life would be different.
Sexuality in marriage no longer pulsates as before. Regrettably, this question cannot be avoided. Everything is banal: a person is not satisfied with the spouse’s passion or lack of imagination in bed games. A normal sex life is the foundation of a happy marriage. If there is no basis, then there will be no joy from the relationship. They are sentenced. If a husband or wife thinks about the past, then the present worries them.
A lifely routine full of problems. This mysterious wording conceals a state when a person thinks: "Everything is somehow wrong."

Nostalgia for first love is an escape from reality.

The man is tired and wants to believe that reality has simple recipes for happiness. There is only one method: do not run away from problems, but fight bravely with them, and not ask yourself: “I am married, but I can’t forget my first love! What am I to do to the miserable? ”

Do people forget their first love?

The answer will upset many. The question of how to forget first love is meaningless. Because only amnesia will help to forget first love. The torment of man is clothed in the wrong form. You need to ask yourself not how to forget your first love forever, but why such distant memories, even pleasant ones, occupy a person more than pressing problems, emotions and joys. After all, the past is dead, and the present and future are alive. When a person understands why the departed grabs his soul, he will find out the answer to the question of how to forget first love. Rather, he will lose his sharpness for a person, familiar features will be erased.

So the question is, do people forget first love? Answer: no, do not forget. They remember, but cease to invest in her emotions. The past cannot be changed. First love remained where it could not be extracted in any way. The man who evoked this bright feeling is no longer there, even if his physical shell lives and lives. Life changes everyone.

“Does a man forget his first love?” - the ladies ask

From the answer to the question depends on whether the crowd of women rush in search of their first love. The solution to the puzzle can be found in the previous discussion. But those who want schemes and classifications, if you please - we will divide men into three types:

"Male and Daffodil." This type of man does not remember anyone and nothing, because he is intoxicated with the present. He often changes sexual partners, and every month promises a new adventure. In such a busy schedule, it is difficult to mention your childhood and youthful hobbies.
“Ordinary guy” differs from “Male” in that he does not have such a wide choice of partners and not so intense and intense sexual life. The girls who gave him their body are rarely more than 10. This type remembers his first love. But the specific conditions of existence are important, whether he is satisfied with his life, whether he loves his wife.
"Shy boy" at the other extreme from the "male". The girls do not really like him, and he had a few of them. The likelihood that he suffers from his first love is increasing, but whether she thinks about him is a big question. Otherwise, the factors are all the same as in the previous version.

To the question, man forgets first love, there is no single answer. It all depends on the particular man, his character, psyche, and living conditions.

Why you should not resurrect a relationship with first love. Cinematic example

Eldar Ryazanov made the film “Office Romance”. In it, the side storyline tells just about the insidiousness of the first serious feeling. But if you approach impassively, the viewer sees: Yu.G. Samokhvalov is the master of life. Recently arrived from Switzerland, he has a good job, a decent salary and an apartment. At O.P. Red fate did not work out. She has everything like everyone else: boring work, husband and child are routine. She dreamed of nothing at the age of 20. And then he appears in the halo, if not the winner, then prosperity. Of course, an ordinary employee wants him to feel the taste of another life. And he repels her, because he has not loved him for a long time and is used to something else.

Sadly, such a development of events is a scheme of almost all searches for the lost. First, a person idealizes something, then he finds, is disappointed, and lives as he had before. You cannot get out of these scenario ticks.

B. Shaw said: "It is human nature to overestimate what he does not possess."

The search for first love arises from the void of life

If suddenly work with the human consciousness does not bring results, he is not inclined to analyze his life, and longing for first love is based on the general freshness of life, then being needs to be colored.

To do what I have long wanted (an interesting hobby)
Go to the gym, get in shape. When a healthy mind reigns in a healthy body, life will improve.
Read what was not possible, but I have long wanted. For example, books that everyone heard about, but not everyone read.

A reliable cure for melancholy and longing is to embody desires. If we take as the basis the thesis that the search for first love hides the thirst for happiness, then you do not need to wait for mercy from nature, to forge happiness yourself - this is the task of man!

Another win-win option, how to forget, or rather not think about first love, will fall in love again. Fresh feelings will drive away sad memories of the past. True, this recipe is suitable only for single or young people. But last, why be sad about first love? Their life is changing rapidly, as in a kaleidoscope: one love has gone, another will come. Young and do not think about their amorous affairs. They line themselves up. Young people rightly believe that she has not one or two happy events ahead of her. Only old age remembers and longs, and when it comes, a person decides. The power of consciousness and thought is unlimited. A man himself recognizes himself as old and lives on memories. If a person is young, then he lives not with memories, but with future plans. Youth and old age is a state of mind, not a body.